Hurry up and wait

For the last month or so, and even more the last 2 weeks in my new site, I have basically been holding my breath waiting for this All Volunteer Conference to figure out what my future is going to be in Peace Corps. We arrived in La Palma, where our last AVC was in October, on Monday afternoon. After a late lunch, we all gathered in a conference room and were given a presentation by Carlos Torres, the regional director of Inter-Americas and Pacific Region of Peace Corps. The presentation he gave us was called “How Did We Get Here?” and basically outlined why this security review is happening here in El Salvador. Basically, about a year ago the world, and PC specifically, was made aware of how dangerous Central America is, most specifically the “Northern Triangle”: Honduras, El Salvador, and Guatemala. For example, Spain and the Northern Triangle are about the same size and have roughly the same population. According to a World Bank study, in 2006, there were 336 murders in Spain and 14,257 in the Northern Triangle. In El Salvador, the serious crime incidence (assault, armed robbery, etc.) is roughly double that of the Peace Corps average. That being said, El Salvador is not quite as dangerous as Honduras, but it is more dangerous than Guatemala. Therefore, PC had a hard time deciding what to do with El Salvador. For Honduras, the decision was easily made to suspend the program and put all volunteers on hold in the US. In Guatemala, it was easy to decide to keep the volunteers in country and restructure.

For El Salvador, though, they had a tough decision to make. Last spring, PC decided to do a mini restructuring, basically by forcing my training group to live with host families the whole 2 years. However, clearly that hasn’t really mitigated the situation too much. Apparently, they were this close (imagine fingers pinched together) to doing the same to El Salvador as they did to Honduras, but instead have decided to try to restructure us so we stay safe while working. What does that mean? WE DON’T KNOW! We were all under the impression that after this security conference we would go back to our sites with all the answers. Instead, we have been informed that PC Washington will be starting a safety and security review of El Salvador starting on Feb. 15 and ending some time in March. Until then, it’s business as usual…aka we can’t really leave our sites, we’re not supposed to start projects and et cetera. In March, we will find out the future of our country. Worst-case scenario would be a shut down, which I don’t think will happen. What will definitely happen is PC/W is going to select a couple safe areas in the country to “cluster” volunteers, so that they are in safer sites and also don’t have to travel as far to see one another. I think that my site in Morazán will be part of one of the clusters, since it is the safest department in the country. However, I feel awful for the volunteers who may face site changes. Some volunteers are already aware that they will probably be moved to a new site. However, they have to wait until after the security review to find out. After the security review, it will take another month or so to move to their new site. So basically, some volunteers are facing a lame duck session of about 3 months in their current site until April when they are moved to their new site.

Other than the restructuring, we now know that the group that was supposed to COS in March has to be out by Feb. 20, and the group that was supposed to COS in September has to be out in April. The September group is very upset, as they’re about a year and a half into their service and are finally feeling productive and happy in their sites. There is a possibility that some of them will be allowed to stay based on the safety of their site and legitimacy of continuing projects. At most, there will be 33 volunteers left in this country after April. When we got here there were about 130. Of those 33, 21 said in a poll that they would “maybe leave” based on the changes to come. So, PC El Sal may end up as 12 lonely volunteers.

One thing that a lot of people are considering from my group is the possibility of re-enrollment. We were informed by PC/W that we have the ability to take the early COS, go back to the US, and re-enroll with Peace Corps and await a new assignment. We would have limited control over region, project type, and departure date (earliest being September ish). We also have the possibility of enrolling in Peace Corps Response, or taking advantage of the Non Competitive Eligibility (basically, our job applications are seen and reviewed first if we apply for a job in the government). For me, the re-enrollment option is very tempting. I am not incredibly attached to El Salvador or to my new site, and I don’t relish the idea of spending the next 2 months and possibly the rest of my service in limbo. I don’t appreciate feeling like Peace Corps’ guinea pig as they try to find a way to keep our country open, and I am worried that my productivity as a volunteer would be seriously diminished by all of these changes and rules. Also, I would love the opportunity to explore a new country and area of the world, and possibly to learn a new language. And, it would be amazing to be in a country where I did not feel endangered on a regular basis, and where I could live on my own and feel free of PC’s micromanagement. However, I don’t want to quit PC El Salvador just because times are hard. One of the defining features of Peace Corps service is that it is very hard and you have to adapt. Just because we have the option of early COS doesn't mean that I should opt out when times get tough.

Anyway, these next couple weeks will include lots of thinking, pondering, and musing. Hopefully, I will come to a decision that doesn’t leave me with too many regrets or “what ifs”.

I came across this quote today, and it seems pretty appropriate for all of us who are still here in El Salvador. Hopefully it will give me some inspiration moving forward...

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances." - Martha Washington